Creativity was something that was unknowingly missing from my life. It only took a few years of denial, a marital argument and a drive to thrift store to discover it.
My hope is that this post will give you some food for thought during this weird time in life. Maybe you’ll add creativity, physical fitness, blooming friendships or who knows what else back into your life. But when you find it, your gut will know. And it will be an undeniable change.
January 02, 2019
How was your NYE? Did you ring in 2019 with laughter and Instagram worthy pics? I hope so! For me it wasn’t quite that. I spent the evening binge-watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel while sipping wine, taking care of a 6-week old and watching Mike get consumed in creativity his newfound woodworking hobby. It was a rager.
What was memorable about the night? Well the more I watched Mike work away at his walking stick, the more annoyed and bitter I became towards him. So that was cool.
I knew it wasn’t fair on my part, but I couldn’t help it. Maybe it was that extra glass of wine. But I knew there was more going on.
So I did what I do best when it comes to dealing with emotions. I internalized them for the evening. I let them them fester, until Mike pushed (figuratively.. duh.) and I snapped.
And as I laid in bed holding back more tears, the same question kept rolling around in my head: Why? Why was Mike having something to work on bothering me?
The Day After New Years Eve
So the next day I took a drive to be alone with my thoughts. It’s how I get my best thinking done. Some people have their shower thinking; I have my sunroof thinking.
Those drives instantly transport me back to carefree, high-school days. The ones where I’m in my Jeep, driving along the Fairhope scenic route with the windows down and latest CD mix on repeat.
It was a beautiful, crisp day and there was zero traffic. Music on the radio was fantastic. And my coffee was perfectly sweetened. It was a good day.
On a whim, I headed to a favorite antique store that I hadn’t been to in months– the last time I went, I bought a pair of original watercolor paintings for $10. If there were ever a day to find a steal like that, today was the day.
By the end of that 30-minute drive, I had my epiphany: I crave a creative outlet. Mike was doing what I missed. He was getting consumed. He had a spark.
As I walked around the store in hopes of finding my dusty treasure, I pondered life. Over the years I gave up so much without thinking twice about it. It either didn’t fit the mold (hey, high-school), the schedule (hey, nursing school) or seem at at possible (hey, adulthood). All the creative things I loved were slowly pushed to the side until they were no longer.
But during all of that thinking, I didn’t find any treasures meant for me. Which wasn’t a big deal. I already found what I came for: an answer. So I called it good and headed for the stairs.
As I walked out of the antique store, a watercolor painting caught my eye. It was a scene so similar to the two paintings from before. The colors and style seemed like they would coordinate beautifully. So I snagged the painting for $8, eager to find a place for it at home.
That painting now hangs proudly above our mantel with the other two.
Turns out I didn’t originally find a pair of paintings. They were a trio.
That day I found the missing piece.
Creativity. It’s what I’m putting back into my life. What about you?
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